Well its been building up inside of me, For oh I don't know how long....

I don't know why
But I keep thinking
Something's bound to go wrong

But she looks in my eyes
And makes me realize
And she says "Don't worry baby"
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Everything will turn out alright




Eric's PET Scan was performed the wed before christmas. This was the first scan that was being performed and would really determine how much cancer was in Eric's body. yes we already knew Eric had Colon Cancer that had spread to his liver. And his liver contained multiple tumors (too many to take out in one liver resection). And yes he had already been diagnosed as Stage IVa (Stage IV is as far as this train goes just for a frame of reference, and IVb is the last station you can get off at). But this was going to determine how extensive the damage is OUTSIDE of what we know.

Well needless to say they made us sweat it out over the Holiday weekend. Eric was anxious and thought this was bad news. We had the Pet Scan performed in Princeton, as opposed to Memorial. They told us a preliminary report would be available within 24 hours, and alas it was not. So automatically he took this as bad news. I on the other hand, took into account the holiday...but that's a whole other story....

Anyway back to the PET. On Monday Eric has his systemic chemo treatment, which includes bloodwork and a visit with Dr. Lee. Dr. Lee is a super sweet doc, who really takes the time to talk to his patients. Usually we wait forever, but lucked out because of the blizzard, many people cancelled. Speaking of which, that blizzard really made it a bitch to get to Princeton, but I digress...

So Lee did his normal assessment, and looked at Eric's blood levels. HE platelets are back to normal, and the only negative in the bloodwork, if you could even consider it a negative, is that Eric is SLIGHTLY anemic. But this is to be expected with liver surgery. So he is getting ready to send us to Chemo, and I kindly remind him, "Don't we have PET scan results?" He honestly forgot to tell us. At that point I knew it was good news.

Essentially the scan found that the Cancer is contained to the liver. The lungs, lymphnodes,spine, and other organs were all clear. The only area that "glowed" was an extremely small inflamed area under the armpit. And they honestly think that has to do with Eric's Eczema, and would not be following a natural pattern of disease for Colon Cancer. So they are not too concerned about this area. The tumors also appear to have shrunk slightly, so Chemo is working. We were elated!!!!! And it is a weight off of Eric's shoulders. This gives him yet ANOTHER reason to keep kicking the shit out of this cancer!

The chemo still sucks. HE is starting to really feel the effects of it. HE is extremely sensitive to cold. Cold weather, cold drinks, cold surfaces. HE has to drink room temp liquids, or it feels like hards of glass are ripping apart his throat. He has to wear gloves to open the fridge, he got out of shoveling in the blizzard (although I think that was planned). Eric is having constant pins and needles feelings in his hands. Thats the neuropathy, and it gets worse with every treatment. His spirits are good though. He handles it like a champ! He still has a head full of hair (knock on wood) after 4 chemo treatments. This is Eric at Monday's treatment. He may still lose his hair, and that's ok. I am hoping that while he loses his hair, he will pick up a Scottish or English accent and I can finally bring to reality my fantasies about boinking Sean Connery or PAtrick Stewart. Yes I has a thing for older men who are bald with Accents. They are just so hot! I'm weird I know.

Eric's treatment Progression:








As always, thank you for your continued support and prayers. And remember Keep BELIEVING!!!!!

Discounted Sahara Sam's Indoor waterpark/Team Eric Dial FUNdraiser

Thank you Marcy for setting up this fundraiser. It looks like so much fun!

********
Help our Friend POLICE OFFICER ERIC DIAL, while taking advantage of a REDUCED price for great family fun!

Proceeds from each ticket sold from the event link go directly to "The Eric Dial Fund". If you can't make it to the event but still want to buy a ticket, they are good for any day and never expire. THINK: CHRISTMAS PRESENTS!!!!!!

**The regular price for tickets is $29.99 Sahara Sam's has ever so kindly REDUCED the ticket price to $20.00 per ticket, with a significant portion of the ticket cost going directly to The Eric DIal Fund!!!**

The Snow date is the following Friday 1/14

Tickets are currently available at this link: https://tickets.saharasams.com/default.asp.

The login is ericdial

A little about our hero: At 34 years old Eric did not expect to be diagnosed with Stage IV Colon Cancer...but here we are. After presenting to the ER with what they believed was a blood clot in his lung, Eric, an otherwise healthy Police Officer, husband, and father was told he had colon cancer that had spread to his liver.

We are now in beginning the biggest fight of our lives-to beat cancer.

Please join us in showing support for Officer Dial and his family; his wife Jeaneane Kozlowski-Dial, and sons Mark Dial and Logan Little.

Follow his fight :
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Team-Eric-Dial/168015779883207?v=wall

http://www.carepages.com/carepages/useofforce

It's Been awhile....

I had to put the blog on lockdown for a short period of time. Apparently SOME people decided to twist what I was writing, and make issues. I waited until a point where I felt the offending parties would loose interest in not being able to access the blog. So now I am back...with lots of updates, which I will take the time today and tomorrow to really try to get into.

Toddles for now...working on a PET SCAN update....

When you're down and troubled and need a helping hand...

**Originally Drafted December 6th...but I finally posted.

And nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest nights.
You just call out my name,
And you know whereever I am
I'll come running, oh yeah baby
To see you again.
Winter, spring , summer, or fall,
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a freind.


It took me a full week to think about what I would say about the Benefit that was thrown for Eric. Even a week later, I still have trouble. It's not that I do not have a ton of amazing things to write, and so many people to thank, it's just that there is so much that I want and need to say, that I do not think my words can do it justice.

I guess the best way to do that is to recap the night, and give thanks for all that was done.

The night started off with some special surprises for Eric. He had already been told that we were getting picked up in a limo/luxury car by his Captain Mike McCarrick. What Eric didn't know is one of my best friend Nichole's stepfather Jeff, an Officer in the group Warriors' Watch Riders, and Nichole's Mom Kim made arrangements with members of the organization and Eric's Motorcycle Club, Bullets LEMC, to escort our ride from our house to the FOP. This was quite an honor, one usually bestowed upon heroes in our military when they come home.

Knowing that the riders were coming around 6, I told Eric we should wait outside for our ride. While waiting he heard the roar of a group of wheels headed our way. I said to him, "Sounds like somebody is having fun." A few moments later about 20 bikes and 4 cars roll up to our house. Keep in mind it was a cold night, so these man and woman went above and beyond to show their support for my husband. Many of them started out as strangers, but they are now friends...





When we arrived at the FOP we were taken back by all that had been done for Eric. From the grand entrance:

To the people that just kept pouring in.

Eventually they had to open up the FOP Lounge because there were just too many people. My uncle, Joe Conklin, put on a performance as well. It was all so much! We were literally overwhelmed by the amazing love and support shown by so many. There are so many people to thank, I know I am going to miss someone, but here are just a few...

-Capt. Mike McCarrick & The Officers of the 2nd Police District
-John McNesby, FOP President
-Steve Weiler, FOP VP
-Bullets M/C
-Warriors' Watch Riders
-Cpl. Vince Nowakowski
-Officer Tom Loglisci (Video)
-Officers Jesberger & Mroz (Music)
-Officers Alley & Murphy (planning/organization, donations, set up)
-Doreen Devlin & her "Basket Elves"
-Members of the Kozlowski, Dial, Grace, Conklin & Conway Families
-Joe Conklin (Comedian)
-Sgts McLain & Barclay
-Lt. Macartney
-Soooo many businesses: Sears Hardware Doylestown, Home Depot, Sears, Lowes, Cheapcarribbean.com, Philadelphia Flyers, Philadelphia 76ers, Philadelphia Phillies, Philadelphia Eagles, Nick's Roast Beef, Field House, Galaxy Tans, Atlantic Tactical, Philly Heating & AC, Barb's Harley Davidson, 92.5 XTU...so many more that I can't even think of the names...
-Mike Ruth- TV, Conway Cousin's- Ipad, Frain Family- Vacation in the Catskills

There is so much more I could write but I do not even know where to begin. All I can say is thank you for your love and support, and being the helping hand that we needed as we are down and troubled...

When you're weary, Feeling small, When tears are in your eyes I will dry them all...

At first I though today's blog would be about the incredible Benefit that the officers and supervisors of the 2nd Dist ran for Eric...and it will be eventually. There is no way I could write an entry and not recognize everything that the men and women of the district did for my husband. But today became a day of unexpected things.

Eric had an appointment to remove the staples from his stomach, and a chemo consult up at Sloan.

So we made the long commute up for what I assumed would be a fairly quick visit with Dr. Kemeny, the oncologist, then Dr. D'Angelica to remove the staples. I figured today we would discuss various Chemo options, and find out when Eric would have to get his Mediport. But after Dr. Kemeny looked at Eric's blood results, and his current state of health, she decided Chemo would start today. She wanted to be as aggressive as possible and break this cancer's face (it's a Halladay reference). This is somewhat bittersweet. Because Eric was supposed to start Chemo on December 15th, we were planning on ...ummm...."banking" after the stitches were removed today. He was in no position to give specimens with stitches in. Well anyone who is familiar with chemo knows that it carries a very high chance of sterilization. So while I watched the the chemo that is going to help Eric beat the cancer go into his vein, a little piece of me crumbled inside. Because with that life saving treatment, out goes my chances of ever having Eric's child.

Eric will be receiving 3 different types of chemo. His pump will distribute FUDR chemo over the course of 2 weeks, and every 2 weeks he will have a systemic treatment of Eloxatin & CPT-11. The systemic treatment takes a little over 2.5 hours from start to finish. He is supposed to feel super nauseous. Our Rx plan only covers some of the pills Eric needs to control this. I guess I should be grateful some of it is covered, because the one Rx is $350 for 2 pills (it's 2 pills a day) and the other is $60 a pill (the insurance company only covered 13 of 25 pills). But hey its something, and its less that I have to spend out of pocket. He will need this EVERY chemo treatment, so it will add up. We are supposed to get systemic in Princeton, but Eric really feels good here. The people are just so nice. Just found out the Chemo Suite is open until 10p, so we might be able to go up here if he really wants to. Whatever he wants I am game.

Being in the city today made me think of Simon and Garfunkel...and "Bridge Over Troubled Waters". The words are powerful. And it made me also think of the benefit, and all the people that rallied around Eric. God it felt so good. I know it made him want to fight even more! He put the following post on facebook (sorry about the profanity)

Eric F Dial: just seeing all the support tonight makes me more determine to fight this shit even harder. Fuck that its gonna take more then @#*($%* ass cancer to beat me. Knowing thats my family is by my side my brothers and sister in blue, long time and new friends I just met tonight I will beat this no problem.

Thank you everyone for helping my husband fight this battle! I promise I will blog more about the benefit soon. Chemo is almost done. So I leave you with a picture and a song...

"Thank you for loving me. For being my eyes, When I couldn't see..."

For parting my lips
When I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

You pick me up when I fall down
You ring the bell before they count me out
If I was drowning you would part the sea
And risk your own life to rescue me

Lock the doors
We'll leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words when I
Thank you for loving me

I pondered what to write in the blog today. Originally I was going to post yesterday, but the Turkey Coma I was in prevented and real thoughts from coming to my head. Plus I was trying to find a good song to leave you all with on this icky day.

Thanksgiving used to be my least favorite holiday. I hate the food, I really can't stand watching hours of football, I am usually tired from a particularly difficult school week (fellow teachers will understand), Logan is at his Dad's house (not that I care about that but I don't have my lil guy around), and somehow, someway, our family gets into stupid arguments over nothing,

But this year was different. This year I actually understood the true meaning of Thanksgiving. Ok not that I didn't understand it before, but I didn't appreciate the meaning before. I looked at Turkey Day as a great day to hang out with my family and drink with my cousins. This year I realized how grateful I am for everything that have.

The day was a great day for Eric as well. A day of laughter, love, and memories...with a heavy emphasis on the laughter. We started off at my Mom and Dad's house. My brother Sean had been out playing football with his friends and walked in covered in mud. My Mom started freaking out because he was so dirty, and she and my Dad told Sean not to get the shower dirty with all the mud. We could not stop laughing....How was he supposed to get clean, hose off outside?? lol Eric was laughing so much it literally hurt. While Sean was warming up by the fire my Mom started to clean his legs with Windex...I felt like I was an extra on "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". Angela you would appreciate it. Eric posted the pic on facebook and wrote this underneath "Love going to the in laws. Nothing like seeing ur mother in law use glass cleaner to clean mud off my brother in law after he just came in from playing football. Love the holidays."

Then we moved from window cleaning to fighting over the TV. Andrew, the youngest, was screaming at my Dad and Mom, because instead of watching football, they were watching HGTV. It was hysterical. Eric was hurting so bad from trying to stifle his laughter. My mom was yelling at me for laughing, so he didn't want to get caught. It got worse when my Dad realized "Miracle of 34th Street" was on (click Here for more about Dad's love of the movie). Andrew stole the remote and kept putting the game on during the commercials, but he did it in such a way that like every 15 seconds he kept changing, it was driving my dad nuts and he started yelling at him, "If I miss one second of "Miracle"..." OMG we couldn't stop laughing!

Eventually we ended up at my aunt Eileen's, and ate a fabulous dinner. During dinner we played a nice round of "Olney Trivia" (you have to be there to understand) led by my uncle Joey. And once again, Eric could not stop laughing. That say laughter is the best medicine, and if that is true, Eric got some great treatment last night. I predict 12% of his cancer masses were destroyed yesterday.

Now on to the list of things I am thankful for:
*Another holiday season to spend with those I love
*A real live superhero as a spouse
*A super awesome Son who gives me reasons to smile every day
*A great Stepson and his super supportive Mom who have been so fantastic throughout all of this
*Supportive parents, who have done so much for Eric and I
*My incredible family (The Kozlowski's, Conklin's, and extended Conway Families) who have prayed and supported us in some many ways since Eric was first diagnosed Thank you for making him a part of our family. "I am so happy to know what it feels like to be part of such a great family" -Eric (November 14, 2010)
*True Friends both old AND new. Those of you who have been there for us these past 2 months without fail. Both near and far offering your prayers, love, and support
*Strength we draw from other "Cancer Warriors" and their families. People like Angela K, Donna B., Patty B., Danielle K., Meaghan E., The Spirit Jumpers Family, and the strangers who shared their stories with me the week Eric was at MSKCC.
*God granting me another day to appreciate his beauty and graces
*My new found sense of faith. I have always believed in God, Jesus, and works of faith...but now it is something more, something hard to explain, but something beautiful
*The laughter of children. No one can feel bad after hearing a child life
*Co-workers of both Eric and I, who have gone beyond the call of duty. In particular: Theresa E., Capt McCarrick, Lt. McCartney, Sgt. McLain, Sgt. Barclay, and the Officers of the 2nd District. You guys have been beyond amazing
*The strength to purge my life of negative things and negative people. Very hard to do, but very necessary.
*and Finally, the strength and perseverance to fight for the man I love....no matter what obstacles we encounter.

And I leave you with a little Bon Jovi....Happy Black Friday!

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." — Randy Pausch (The Last Lecture)

In October of 2007 I happened to be watching Oprah, something I never do. But for some reason I turned it on and saw one of the most beautiful talks I had ever seen. Professor Randy Pausch was reprising his "Last Lecture" for millions. It was a condensed version of the 76 minute lecture he had given the month before at Carnegie Mellon University. I have provided a link to this clip, and I urge you to watch it before you move on, it will help you better understand where I am going with this.



Hope you had your Kleenex ready. But I guess I should have warned you about that. Now in 2007 cancer was the furthest thing from my mind. I had just gotten engaged that August, and was eagerly planning my wedding to the man of my dreams the following October. But Randy's lecture touched me in ways I couldn't imagine. It renewed my dedication to teaching, as I had sadly reached a bit of a rut that year. I had decided that "Never Giving Up On Your Childhood Dreams" was something my 7th and 8th grade special education students really needed to hear. I waited until the end of the year, after state testing, but I showed them that video clip. And we discussed how, as poor inner-city youth, they too could fulfill their dreams. Especially poignant, was the talk about people riding you that care, and about brick walls being there for a reason. You see, in urban education, often times 8th grade is the last year to try and "save" the kids that are teetering on the edge. And with that week long life lesson I know I at least made 1 student choose the right path. The following year the book came out, and I actually had my 8th graders read the book as well as watch the lecture in full, again I know that Randy helped me change the lives of some of those students.

Fast-forward to November 23, 2010. While tidying up some stuff in my room I found the copy of "The Last Lecture" that I gave to Eric for our first wedding Anniversary last year. You see 2008, before we got married, was a very difficult year for reasons that are too long and complicated to get into. But we faced devastation all around, that continued in that first year of marriage. It was hard to stay happy when things sort of sucked. And Eric took some things and the loss of personal relationships with those he considered friends very hard. When the book first came out, Eric, a non-reader, was engrossed in it and finished it in a few hours. So I figured for that first anniversary, and to tip my hat at the tradition of giving paper, I would give him his own copy.

Yesterday I opened up that copy of the book, and read the little note I wrote on the cover only a year ago:

Dearest Eric,
I got you your own copy! If anything, this book demonstrates that
one can never give up. There will always be obstacles in life,
but any obstacle can be overcome. In the midst of every dark
shadow is even the smallest ray of light.
Do your best to find that ray...
Happy Anniversary!

All My Love,
Your Wife

These words could not be truer only a year later. There is a reason I found this book. I needed to remember the wise words of Randy Pausch. I needed to be reminded that, "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." I needed to remember how much every little memory in life should be cherished. I also needed to remember the strength that I know I posses, even when I don't think I do.

So Eric here we are with a big shadow enveloping us....or so it seems. But somewhere, somewhere in all this darkness, is our ray of light. Our love will help that ray to shine even brighter...so keep fighting baby and I'll keep loving with all that I am.

When push comes to shove, you show what your made of...

I was feeling a little down at work today, so during lunch I played around with iMovie and made this...I love you Eric!!!

I just wanna scream and lose control, Throw my hands up and let it go...

Forget about everything and runaway, yeah

Oh Avril...God I feel your song today.

I had no desire to post negative things on this blog. I am determined to rid my life of negativity, but I just want to scream! I can't keep it in anymore.

Family. They can be awesome or they can suck. I have seen such kindness and generosity from members of our family. Loved ones doing everything they can to help and support us. People knowing boundaries, and knowing when to just wait along the sidelines and be there when we need them...

And then there is the opposite....family who doesn't leave well enough alone. They just don't get the hint. They are mean and hurtful and selfish. And they do not respect Eric's wishes...not my wishes, ERIC'S!!!!

Then it ends up getting dirty. If you are reading this and thinking, "Is this me?" then yea it is you. I can no longer continue to entertain insanity. I am not selfish, I am not keeping people away from Eric, I am carrying out his requests. He doesn't want negativity or drama in his life right now. He needs positive thinking and attitudes, not fighting, drama, and negativity.

"I saw the Sign and it opened up my Eyes, I saw the Sign..."

Those of you that really know me know that music has always played a big role in my life. This fight is no exception. Plus it helps explain the reason why you will see a lot of lyrics on my pages. Music tells the story of our lives...and this is just another chapter.

But yesterday I did see a sign. I actually saw a lot of signs. But they all filled my with joy and helped me to realize things are going to be ok. We are faced with some temporary pain and sadness so that we may have a lifetime of love and laughter.

Yesterday was a great day for both Eric and myself. On Wednesday night our friends Dianne and Kelly came up with Dianne's son Jack. Jack leaves Eric the cutest messages, and I knew seeing the lil guy would really lift his spirits. So Wednesday night I left the hospital around 8 and met the crew at the hotel. The adults had several libations (which I paid for the next day...) and stayed up laughing. I needed a laugh, it had been a really tough week.

My mom decided on Wednesday night that she was going to venture up to NY with Logan so he could see Eric and I. It was perfect! This way I knew we could see Eric and then take the boys (and girls) on the town. So my Mom drove to Hamilton station in NJ, took a train and 2 buses with Logan to see us! If any of you now my Mom that is huge! She met, Dianne, Kelly, and I at the hospital. Eric got to see Logan and laugh at Jack, as well as spend some time with Dianne (another Officer in the 2nd) and Kelly.

But it keeps getting better! Around 1pm who shows up but Eric's Sergeant Jay, Lieutenant Tom, and "handler" Stan! Eric's Supervisors in the 2nd Dist are true class! How nice of them to take a day to come visit him so far away. As soon as he saw them his face lit up. And them coming gave me the opportunity to spend the day with Logan. The guys stayed until about 4, and Eric was so happy to see them! Thank you so much guys!

So off we went, My mom, Logan, Kelly, Dianne, Jack and I venturing through NYC. We walked from E67th and York to W34th and 7th...almost 3 miles. But we took in the sights of 5th Ave and and the Xmas Decorations, Rockefeller Square Times Square, Toy r Us (where Dianne was awesome and bought Logan a birthday present because he could not make up his mind between 2 items), and finally ended up at a Miracle on 34th Street...Macy's.


Anyone who knows my Father knows that Miracle of 34th Street is his favorite movie of all time. We watch it every Christmas for as long as I can remember. My dad loves Christmas, you can see the Twinkle in his eyes the closer it gets. And to him Miracle on 34th Street IS Christmas.He was the one who actually told me that's where Macy's was located. For those not familiar here is a trailer:

Miracle is so many things, but above all its about the power of the human spirit, and ones ability to Believe, despite all obstacles.

I had seen on the news that Macy's had revealed there Christmas Windows. I wasn't sure what it was but I really wanted to see them. When I turned the corner at Herald's Square, much to my delight I saw that Miracle on 34th Street was this years theme! The window glare made it hard to take pictures, but it was amazing...



We continued along 34th Street looking at the windows when I looked up to see the Christmas Lights. My eyes filled with tears and a smile slowly came across my face...it was a sign. On the 34th St side of Macy's, in huge writing, was the word "Believe". And it was at that point that I truly realized that things are going to be ok. It's not going to be easy, and there are going to be many obstacle along the way, and of course there are going to be those low moments when we are going to want to give up...That's life. And to think that those things won't happen, or that there will be days of self-pity and depression is insane. But when I looked up at that stately building on Herald Square and saw those beautiful words, I knew that eventually every thing will be ok. Like little Susan, even when I have warranted doubts, I just has to let go...and Believe...

Working hard to get my fill, Everybody wants a thrill...

Paying anything to roll the dice
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

Don't stop believing
Hold on to that feeling

Well things don't always work out they way you plan them, or the way the doctors plan them, hell even the way life plans them. And when you first realize your plans go wrong you are pissed. Then you get over it. Then you determine that you need to keep fighting. That was my day yesterday. Our first real setback since diagnosis.

Yesterday we work up at 7am and got ready to go to the hospital.
We had to be at Sloan at 9:45, but were antsy to get there early. Despite the rain we were able to get some town car to go there. I was pissed because the African dude didn't have a meter and was playing "What do you want to pay?" I finally just threw him a ten, so we could be on our way. I probably over paid, but whatever I am by no means a city girl...and certainly not a NY city girl.

Even though we were early, I am glad they took him back right away. Some vital checks, a lot of waiting, but we knew surgery was to take place soon. One super sweet nurse had a pep talk with E and told him not to be scared. She had him doing breathing exercises...I was laughing, it looked like Lamaze. But it did help. He was much more relaxed....below is BEFORE his pep talk...


At noon they had him walk into the operating room. When I asked a nurse why he was walking, the nurse said studies found that when patients walked into the OR they are not as nervous and scared. You could see that as he was walking and carrying on a conversation with the anesthesiologist.

I was prepared for Eric to be in surgery 6-8 hours. I received a phone call stating surgery started at 12:25pm. I was to be updated at 1:40. When they came for an update they told me Eric was in the first part of the surgery, the liver resection. The plan was to remove the affected areas of the liver (the 2 major tumors positioned mostly on the right lobe [on the picture it is the larger of the 2 lobes] , and a few smaller surface tumors). However when they opened him up, they saw things that the testing did not reveal. Now we were warned this could happen, but at the time it didn't really seem like a possibility.

After 3 hours in surgery I received a call telling me to come back up to the floor, the operation was finishing up. I knew immediately something did not go right. I was expecting to be waiting minimum of 6 hours. Well when they opened him up they saw many more tumors then anticipated, on both lobes. Dr. D'Angelica determined that he could not safely remove most of the tumors without risking Eric's life. Basically, if he cut out all the cancer, Eric might not be left with enough healthy liver to survive. Instead they cut out 2 tumors and burned another in the left lobe. Now the left lobe is cancer free. They removed the gallbladder and installed he HAI chemo pump. They determined that Eric will need to have chemo to try to shrink the tumors on the right lobe, before they can attempt to resection again. Dr. D'Angelica explained that this 2-part resection is the best course of action for Eric.

So here we are...Eric will be recovering at Sloan for approx 6 days. While he's mad things didn't go as planned, he is determined not to let this setback hinder his fight.
He was up and walking several times today...less then 24 hours after major surgery. I am so proud. And, as always, Eric is a wonderful patient and the nurses LOVE him!! But who wouldn't love a handsome guy like him teehee!

Chemo is going to start within the month. After 3 months of chemo Dr. D'Angelica will determine if Eric can have part 2 of his liver resection. That means surgery, and the possibility of being cancer free could be a mere 4 months away!!! Wouldn't that be a perfect 30th birthday present for me considering surgery could take place in March, Colon Cancer Awareness month, AND the month of my birthday. Yippee!!!! Until then, we embrace being temporary New Yorkers, and enjoy the view from the room...

"No one ever carried my load...I'm too young to feel this old"

I giggle when I think about writing about Kings of Leon...I remember this awesome night Eric and I spent with his partner in the 17th (2nd time around) Mark and his wife Kate. We were drinking down in his bar and Mark and KAte were arguing about Kings of Leon...what a great night.

I heard this song not too long ago, and found, while heartbreaking, to be inspiring. It is true that even sad songs can be uplifting.

It's the day before surgery. Getting final pulmonary testing at Sloan before surgery. this nurse is a bitch. I hope Dr. Lee is nicer because I want to punch her in the face. I realize Eric is the patient, but I am the one who knows everything. I keep track of the family history and current treatments. Eric is kind of running on autopilot, so I answer the questions....

Anyway...guess I will blogging more today...its gonna be a long one.

"In good times, and bad times, I'll be on your side forever more...That's what friends are for..."

Dionne Warwick is an effing liar.


Ok well maybe I shouldn't take my anger out on Dionne. And maybe I shouldn't generalize, because I do have some pretty amazing friends, both old and new, who have really been there for me. HOWEVER, I have also experienced this bullshit of people who you thought were your closest friends completely desert you. It is horrible. It is probably one of the most heartbreaking experiences to ever go through in life. I never thought that people I considered close friends, just a short time ago, would leave me hanging when I need them most.

Ok maybe I am being selfish. I mean the world does not revolve around me and my problems, but you would think I would at least get a phone call or text. And the crazy part is, its not just one person, its basically everyone I've considered a "close" friend over the last few years. I keep being told, "well they are young, and probably scared, and don't know what to say..." And you don't thin kI am freaking scared?? I am 29 years old. I have been married for 2 years, I AM NOT supposed to be helping my 34 year old husband fight cancer. We are supposed to be buying shit e don't need and accumulating debt, drinking at bars with "friends", going down the shore, riding on the motorcycle, and planning a family. We aren't supposed to be reviewing DNR forms and assigning medical proxies. And you are telling me a "friend" has the right to be "too scared" to reach out?? This feels even worse then when Kelly broke up with Zac to date Jeff the college guy.



But luckily, through the grace of God, I have be fortunate enough to meet new friends, and friend's and co-workers of Eric's who have been an amazing support through this nightmare. I thank God every day that I have met such wonderful people. At least I have some people I can count on, along with the people who have stood by my side before and after the Big C diagnosis. And if your reading this someday, thank you. Thank you for being their and supporting me, my husband, and our children. There is a special place in heaven for all of you.

Believe...

Now she's getting a tattoo, yeah, she's getting ink done...

She asked for a 13 but they drew a 31!

Much to the disappointment of my Mother, if she ever finds out, I did get another tattoo yesterday. Like the other 3 tattoos I have, this one has meaning. This one, by far, is the most meaningful to me. (Short tat history: First tat was a Sun representing endless summer,2nd tat was done at Miami Ink on my honeymoon-I got a celtic Love knot, 3rd tattoo was a phrase in Gaelic- "Aon grá amháin, fíor is síor" that means "One Love, True and Eternal").

When Eric was diagnosed a few short weeks ago, I immediately thought of Phillies legend Tug McGraw...that man never gave up. "Ya Gotta Believe" was he trademark saying both on the field and when he was battling cancer...I draw on him for inspiration...BELIEVE...




But this one is my symbol of strength and represents my dedication to Eric. I had the Colon Cancer Awareness Symbol tattooed on my upper back/shoulder area. I had asked Eric to write the word "Believe" in his script on a piece of paper. Underneath the colon cancer symbol, Believe was tattooed. The love of my life will be a part of me forever.

Jim Sloane at Pop's Place made the experience extra meaningful. He made sure both Eric and I were part of the design, and had Eric place the stencil on me. He even took the time to take pictures for us. What an Ace! When Eric beats cancer, Jim said he can't wait to tat on him, "Told you I'd beat this!" I can't wait for that day.


Jim, thank you so much for creating an incredible memory for Eric and I. And thank you for the beautiful tattoo. But more then anything, thank you for your prayers and support.

Blogger wont let me add a picture right now...I will when I can...

The Campbells Condensed version of our Journey....

At 34 years old Eric did not expect to be diagnosed with Stage IV Colon Cancer...but here we are. After presenting to the ER on September 29th, 2010 with what they believed was a blood clot in his lung, Eric, an otherwise healthy Police Officer, husband, and father was told that he had colon cancer that had spread to his liver.

We are now in beginning the biggest fight of our lives-to beat cancer. Eric was diagnosed with Stage IV on October 4th, 2010, 5 days shy of our 2nd wedding anniversary. On Oct 6th he had part of his colon removed. He was released Oct 9th to seek further treatment. We chose to seek the medical help of Dr. D'Angelica at Memorial Sloan Kettering in NYC. We went back to Dr. D'Angelica on November 2nd to see if Eric is strong enough to have his liver reresectioned. We also met with Dr. Kemeny, the Medical Oncologist who will be providing the chemo and additional treatments.

Eric's liver surgery is scheduled for November 16, 2010 at Memorial Sloane-Kettering in NYC. During surgery they will removed the tumors, gallbladder, and put in his HAI Chemo Pump (see below). Eric will be hospitalized at least 6 days. I will be staying up there with him. Sadly, unlike Abington, I cannot stay in the room with him overnight. I am looking into Hostels...this could be a lot of fun or I could be kidnapped so people can pay to murder me (remember the movie Hostel...lol), however the AMAZING Police Officer's at the 2nd District, are seeing if they can try to make some come of arrangements for me up there.

After Surgery Eric will have aggressive chemo treatment. He will be doing 2 different types. One is hepatic artery infusion chemotherapy (see ) and the other is traditional systemic chemo. He will be receiving these treatments simultaneously for at least 6 months.


This is going to be a long and difficult journey, but he are going to fight with all we have. Friends and family can support us through prayer.

A benefit is being thrown for Eric on November 27th, 2010 by the 2nd Police District of the Philadelphia Police Department. More info can be found on the FOP webpage:

We are so grateful for the love and support shown by so many. Words cannot even express how touched we are.

Special Thanks to the following:
The Kozlowski,Conklin, Conway, Grace & Dial Families
Philadelphia Police Department
Capt. Michael McCarrick, Sgt. Jay McLain & the Supervisors & Officers of the 2nd Dist
Bullets LEMC
Garda MC
Staff of Juniata Park Academy
Staff of Roosevelt Middle School
Doctors & Nurses at Abington Memorial Hospital
And all of our friends!!!
Without all of you we would never be able to fight this battle!

Eric is the amazing husband of Jeaneane Dial. He is the proud father of Mark Dial, age 14, and step-father of Logan Little, age 9. He is a 12 year veteran of the Philadelphia Police Department currently assigned to the 2nd Police District.