Thank you...

I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately. I guess it comes with the territory sometimes. I wrote this email to a mentor I had when I was a teenager. This man singlehandedly made me fall in love with music. While I could sing before, he turned me into a vocalist. I have so many amazing memories of this man, Mr. Tim Harrell.

Today I decided to write him an email. We haven't truly spoken, or had a close friendship in nearly 10 years. I think I briefly saw him about 7 years ago, right before I met Eric when I tried to attend services again at Trinity Solebury. I just couldn't make it work, the church was too far away. When I sang with Tim I felt so amazing...I like to remember those times.

Anyway, just like my letter to Tim, I want to reach out to so many of the people that have influenced my life these last...hmmm...30 years. In one way or another, you have all touched my heart and made me a better person.

THANK YOU!

Below I will share some parts of the email I sent to Tim and his response...It's nothing grand, but his response back really touched me.

Hello Tim:
Well some downtime in work, and a little soul searching led me to the Trinity page, and of course, you. I hope this email finds you in good health and spirits. I often see on ******** ******** facebook page tidbits about the goings on at Trinity. I imagine you are incredibly busy this lenten season.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. Well thinking, reminiscing, fondly remembering the blissful times when life was easy, and all it look was a beautiful Anthem to put a smile on my face.

As I am sure you have heard from ******, as she asked me if it was ok, life has thrown me yet another curveball. Sadly this experience really had me questioning my faith and understanding of God's graces. While I was able to quickly realize that it is God's will, it has still left me broken. I find myself once again a sheep lost from its flock. I am so disgusted (at times), yet know that it is my strong belief in our Lord that is helping me to get through this most difficult time.

I guess I am rambling on about nothing really. I haven't talked to you in ages, and for that I am sad. Basically I guess I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for playing such an important role for 6 years of my life. I think of you often, especially now that I no longer sing. Please know that you made such an incredible impact in my life. During my darkest hours I now think of the happiest times in my life. Many of those memories have you playing a big part.

Fondly,
Jeaneane


Hi Jeaneane,

What a pleasant surprise to hear from you. Isn't is ironic that you and
Jenn have connected through facebook. Yes, she shared with me what is
going on in your life and I'm so sad to hear how things are going.

Yes, things are busy during the Lenten season as you well know. Your
words are so kind about me and they brought tears as well. Yes, we all
look for those blissful times and as we look back on our lives we
realize how many things were easier in the past but don't forget that
when we were living those times, it didn't seem easy. I do think the
older we get the more challenges we meet.

We all struggle at times with our faith but I
want to challenge you or at least disagree with one thing you've said
and I hope you will take it with the love that it is given. I don't
believe it is God's will for people to suffer. If I believed otherwise,
I couldn't do any of this. I truly believe God suffers right along with
us during the down times just as God rejoices with us during the good
times. That expression "that it is God's will" brings back all those
loooooonnnnnngggggg (long) prayers at AJIC
rehearsals. (Now that should bring a laugh or at least a chuckle)

I wish you were closer not only to be singing here again but I think you
would find the adult study we've been doing since the fall a real eye
opener and a source of some comfort and understanding about God and our
faith. It has been amazing to watch the DVD and then hear the
reflections by parishioners who come from different backgrounds in their
faith journey. It isn't pious but quite progressive in it's content.

I got your email just moments after you wrote and dialed the number at
the end of it but they weren't able to locate you and were going to page
you. I told them it wasn't that important and I would try another time.
I just didn't want to put it off.

I will share this with Emory and we will both put you in our prayers.
Come see us sometime. You are ALWAYS WELCOME here.

Love,
Tim

Numbers...

I know I haven't updated in a while, there is just so much to write about, I need some tie to really think it out. But until then I would like to leave you with a post I put on Eric's facebook on March 16th, 4 days before Eric participated in his First 5k sponsored by Colon Cancer Coalition .

life can sometimes be about numbers. 5 months ago you were diagnosed with cancer and had part of your colon removed. the stage was 4. 4 months ago today you had the first round of your tumors removed from your liver. in 4 days you will run your first 5k. 5 weeks after that the rest of your cancerous tumors will be removed from your liver. you are beating the shit our of cancer, and I am so proud of you! I love you!

Eric Finished the 5k...he might not have come first, but he didn't come last, and he finished.He continues to beat the odds, those numbers in life.


Eric Finishing up the race with his friend Mike



Eric Anxiously awaiting the start of the 5k....notice Colon Cancer Warriors and Survivors wore special colored race bibs


Our Team: Dial's Dooker Troopers


I thought of a new song today. Eric had chemo yesterday and feels like complete shit. And a lot of our friends who are battling cancer has felt pretty shitty too lately. These lyrics came to mind....


But the good news
Is there's angels everywhere out on the street
Holding out a hand to pull you back up on your feet
The one's that you've been dragging for so long
You're on your knees
You might as well be praying
Guess what I'm saying

If your going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

Don't worry....things will get better, and thre is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Some good and some meh

Good: 21st will be eric's last chemo for 7 weeks. Kemeny wants to stop 3 weeks before surgery, and he won't have chemo for 4 weeks after.

Good: she also said he won't have much chemo after surgery. It would just be a precaution. Maybe 2 rounds in may-june.

Good: she was smiling and happy with how well Eric is doing. If you know Kemmeny, you know this is a big deal.


Meh: eric's bloodwork wasn't ideal today, so he isn't getting chemo. He has to get bloodwork done next monday in Philly to make sure he's good for the 21st. She's not too concerned because she thinks bloodlevels are whacked beccause of PVE last monday.

MEh: the 21st in now going to be a NY day, and its during PSSA's. That is going to go over real well at worlk. About as well as a fart in church.

Meh: I have never seen Eric so tired before in my life. It really sucks.

Now I'm feeling so Fly, Like a G6

Woohoo! Spoke with Dr. D'Angelica's staff yesterday. Liver resection rescheduled for April 19th!

Chemo to continue and Eric is working hard to prepare for surgery.

He is also preparing for the "Get Your Rear in Gear" Colon Cancer 5k on March 21st.

Eric was featured on the Gear your Rear in Gear website....you can see his story here

If you would like to help Eric and our Team you can do so 2 different ways, you can either sign up to run with our team, Dial's Dooker Troopers, or donate to our fundraising goal of $1000. We are not even halfway there!

You can donate on the Team Dial Fundraiser PAge. Every little bit helps...from $5 to $500. Please help us reach our goal! Thank you those who have already donated!

You can also participate in our team. You can do so by registering with active.com and signing up for the event. The direct link is here . Make sure you sign up as "Team Member" and look for "Dial's Dooker Troopers" as the team.


Thanks again for everyones support!

The Doctor's Wife

There is an awesome series in the New York Times following the journey of Dr. Bach, a physician at Memorial, whose wife was diagnosed with cancer. I found the blog from a post made on the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Facebook Page.

Much like myself, Dr Bach is blogging about his journey. His series, The Doctor's Wife is very real. In the first 2 submissions I have found myself nodding, tearing up, laughing (the form comment) and just FEELING everything Dr. Bach is going through.

Ok so I am not a Doctor, so maybe I do not know the clinical end, but I am a highly educated young woman who is so deeply in love with her husband that she will do anything to keep in him alive. I have taken on the role of caretaker, and have completely educated myself with regards to colon cancer, especially with regards to Eric's current diagnosis.

I highly suggest everyone take the time to read this frank account of Dr. Bach's journey.


If I could be you, if you could be me
For just one hour, if we could find a way
To get inside each other's mind
If you could see you through my eyes
Instead your own ego I believe you'd be
I believe you'd be surprised to see
That you've been blind

Walk a mile in my shoes
just walk a mile in my shoes
Before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Then walk a mile in my shoes