In October of 2007 I happened to be watching Oprah, something I never do. But for some reason I turned it on and saw one of the most beautiful talks I had ever seen. Professor Randy Pausch was reprising his "Last Lecture" for millions. It was a condensed version of the 76 minute lecture he had given the month before at Carnegie Mellon University. I have provided a link to this clip, and I urge you to watch it before you move on, it will help you better understand where I am going with this.
Hope you had your Kleenex ready. But I guess I should have warned you about that. Now in 2007 cancer was the furthest thing from my mind. I had just gotten engaged that August, and was eagerly planning my wedding to the man of my dreams the following October. But Randy's lecture touched me in ways I couldn't imagine. It renewed my dedication to teaching, as I had sadly reached a bit of a rut that year. I had decided that "Never Giving Up On Your Childhood Dreams" was something my 7th and 8th grade special education students really needed to hear. I waited until the end of the year, after state testing, but I showed them that video clip. And we discussed how, as poor inner-city youth, they too could fulfill their dreams. Especially poignant, was the talk about people riding you that care, and about brick walls being there for a reason. You see, in urban education, often times 8th grade is the last year to try and "save" the kids that are teetering on the edge. And with that week long life lesson I know I at least made 1 student choose the right path. The following year the book came out, and I actually had my 8th graders read the book as well as watch the lecture in full, again I know that Randy helped me change the lives of some of those students.
Fast-forward to November 23, 2010. While tidying up some stuff in my room I found the copy of "The Last Lecture" that I gave to Eric for our first wedding Anniversary last year. You see 2008, before we got married, was a very difficult year for reasons that are too long and complicated to get into. But we faced devastation all around, that continued in that first year of marriage. It was hard to stay happy when things sort of sucked. And Eric took some things and the loss of personal relationships with those he considered friends very hard. When the book first came out, Eric, a non-reader, was engrossed in it and finished it in a few hours. So I figured for that first anniversary, and to tip my hat at the tradition of giving paper, I would give him his own copy.
Yesterday I opened up that copy of the book, and read the little note I wrote on the cover only a year ago:
Dearest Eric,
I got you your own copy! If anything, this book demonstrates that
one can never give up. There will always be obstacles in life,
but any obstacle can be overcome. In the midst of every dark
shadow is even the smallest ray of light.
Do your best to find that ray...
Happy Anniversary!
All My Love,
Your Wife
These words could not be truer only a year later. There is a reason I found this book. I needed to remember the wise words of Randy Pausch. I needed to be reminded that, "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." I needed to remember how much every little memory in life should be cherished. I also needed to remember the strength that I know I posses, even when I don't think I do.
So Eric here we are with a big shadow enveloping us....or so it seems. But somewhere, somewhere in all this darkness, is our ray of light. Our love will help that ray to shine even brighter...so keep fighting baby and I'll keep loving with all that I am.
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