"In good times, and bad times, I'll be on your side forever more...That's what friends are for..."

Dionne Warwick is an effing liar.


Ok well maybe I shouldn't take my anger out on Dionne. And maybe I shouldn't generalize, because I do have some pretty amazing friends, both old and new, who have really been there for me. HOWEVER, I have also experienced this bullshit of people who you thought were your closest friends completely desert you. It is horrible. It is probably one of the most heartbreaking experiences to ever go through in life. I never thought that people I considered close friends, just a short time ago, would leave me hanging when I need them most.

Ok maybe I am being selfish. I mean the world does not revolve around me and my problems, but you would think I would at least get a phone call or text. And the crazy part is, its not just one person, its basically everyone I've considered a "close" friend over the last few years. I keep being told, "well they are young, and probably scared, and don't know what to say..." And you don't thin kI am freaking scared?? I am 29 years old. I have been married for 2 years, I AM NOT supposed to be helping my 34 year old husband fight cancer. We are supposed to be buying shit e don't need and accumulating debt, drinking at bars with "friends", going down the shore, riding on the motorcycle, and planning a family. We aren't supposed to be reviewing DNR forms and assigning medical proxies. And you are telling me a "friend" has the right to be "too scared" to reach out?? This feels even worse then when Kelly broke up with Zac to date Jeff the college guy.



But luckily, through the grace of God, I have be fortunate enough to meet new friends, and friend's and co-workers of Eric's who have been an amazing support through this nightmare. I thank God every day that I have met such wonderful people. At least I have some people I can count on, along with the people who have stood by my side before and after the Big C diagnosis. And if your reading this someday, thank you. Thank you for being their and supporting me, my husband, and our children. There is a special place in heaven for all of you.