Now I'm feeling so Fly, Like a G6

Woohoo! Spoke with Dr. D'Angelica's staff yesterday. Liver resection rescheduled for April 19th!

Chemo to continue and Eric is working hard to prepare for surgery.

He is also preparing for the "Get Your Rear in Gear" Colon Cancer 5k on March 21st.

Eric was featured on the Gear your Rear in Gear website....you can see his story here

If you would like to help Eric and our Team you can do so 2 different ways, you can either sign up to run with our team, Dial's Dooker Troopers, or donate to our fundraising goal of $1000. We are not even halfway there!

You can donate on the Team Dial Fundraiser PAge. Every little bit helps...from $5 to $500. Please help us reach our goal! Thank you those who have already donated!

You can also participate in our team. You can do so by registering with active.com and signing up for the event. The direct link is here . Make sure you sign up as "Team Member" and look for "Dial's Dooker Troopers" as the team.


Thanks again for everyones support!

The Doctor's Wife

There is an awesome series in the New York Times following the journey of Dr. Bach, a physician at Memorial, whose wife was diagnosed with cancer. I found the blog from a post made on the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Facebook Page.

Much like myself, Dr Bach is blogging about his journey. His series, The Doctor's Wife is very real. In the first 2 submissions I have found myself nodding, tearing up, laughing (the form comment) and just FEELING everything Dr. Bach is going through.

Ok so I am not a Doctor, so maybe I do not know the clinical end, but I am a highly educated young woman who is so deeply in love with her husband that she will do anything to keep in him alive. I have taken on the role of caretaker, and have completely educated myself with regards to colon cancer, especially with regards to Eric's current diagnosis.

I highly suggest everyone take the time to read this frank account of Dr. Bach's journey.


If I could be you, if you could be me
For just one hour, if we could find a way
To get inside each other's mind
If you could see you through my eyes
Instead your own ego I believe you'd be
I believe you'd be surprised to see
That you've been blind

Walk a mile in my shoes
just walk a mile in my shoes
Before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Then walk a mile in my shoes

Can I offer you some liver?

Arrived at Memorial at 11:45am.

Eric finally went into procedure a little over an hour ago. They said the procedure would be approx 2 hours.
Thank you for all your continued pryers and support.

Also, a special thank you to all who came to the Beef & Beer this past Saturday that was organized by Eric Mother Kathy DIal, and her friends and Family. We are very sorry we could not make it because of the testing up here in NY. We are very grateful for all the hard work that went into throwing this event, and for all those who support Eric. May God bless you in more ways then you would ever need.

I will update everyone after he gets out.

~Jeaneane

A personal glimpse into the life of a cancer patient.

Ok so may it is not quite a glimpse, but today I feel the closest I probably ever will to feeling 1/3 of what Eric feels like on a daily basis. I have been stricken with the dreaded stomach virus that is making its rounds with all my friends and family. Logan had it for a day, only puked 4 times and felt better by 4pm the same day. Just to be on the safe side I had quarantined him at my parents house so Eric wouldn't get sick. That was a few weeks ago. But alas, it seems that I finally got hit with this monster. I looked like this poor little girl all day today. Not nearly as cute, and basically laying on the bathroom room floor. I feel even worse now, but moved to the couch and just run to the bathroom every 5 minutes. This sucks. And I only see it getting worse as the day progresses.

Now I know how Eric feels. He probably feels even worse then this. For almost 2 weeks he feels like shit. Feels nausea and stomach pains that leave him miserable and so worn out. When asked how his day is, he usually responds "tastes like shit". Now I know what that means.

Previously, the best way I could have described the chemo effects is a long lasting hangover. You know the ones were all you want to do is stick your finger down your throat to make it go away?? Yea those kind. But now after less then 24 hours of being tormented with the stomach bug, I can empathize at a totally new level. Now I understand why he doesn't want to go out and just wants to go to sleep. I feel it too right now, and I knew mine will pass in a few days, where Eric has until June to fell like shit, with every treatment feeling worse.

Needless to say I am staying away from Eric. I am staying away from everyone. If what my friends have told me is true, this horrible thing lasts several days to clear from your system. UGH!!!!!! I CANT BE SICK!! I need to take care of my family. GRRRRRR!!!!

Eric's mother Kathy, and her friends and family, are holding a benefit this weekend for Eric. The Beef & Beer for Officer Eric Dial~Our Cancer Warrior is being held this Saturday at Turner's in Roxborough from 7-11. There will be excellent food, baskets, and dancing with music being provided by PJ the DJ. It is really kind of them to do this for Eric. A lot of hard work was put into the event, and we thank everyone who attends.

Eric will be heading up to NY this weekend to prepare for Monday's Portal Vein Embolization. To prepare for this he has gone into an isolation. No going out, no crowds, pretty much staying in the house. It's a tough thing to do when you are used to being active, but the doctor ordered it. According to the oncologist, "If you want to continue to be my patient, then you will follow my rules." I guess it hasn't been so hard this week because he is so sick from chemo, but now, as he prepares for this major procedure Monday, and his upcoming liver resection, he needs to follow her rules.

Monday's procedure is an interesting one. The are basically going to shutdown the right side of the liver by cutting blood flow in the artery. If you guys remember from previous posts, the right side of his liver still has all the tumors. With the first part of his liver resection in November, Dr. D'Angelica was able to remove all the cancer from the left side. Anyway, when the cut off blood flow this will cause the right side to start to shrink, essentially "killing off" some of the tumors in the process. While this is happening, the left side of the liver will be forced to regenerate (grow back) at a faster rate. This will give Eric the largest liver section possible when liver resection surgery occurs. Hopefully the resection will be in 6-8 weeks, maybe around Easter time. When we met with Dr. Lee on Monday for chemo he was ecstatic over the latest CT results. He has been so supportive of us, and carries out Dr. Kemeny's medical plan perfectly. It's also nice because we get a little more one on one attention from Dr. Lee because he has the time Dr. Kemeny does not have.

So all in all, we are still fighting the good fight. We keep our faith and sense of humor. Eric keeps pushing the bar because he knows he will beat this. Only a few more months and all of this will just be another obstacle that we overcame. Here's to laughter, love, faith, and courage!

A young Cancer WArrior...

Received an email from my Great Aunt Bernadine about a distant cousin who is battling Cancer. He is only 5. Please keep him in your prayers. His name is Brendan, and I think he is a superhero.


You can read his story here: Brendan Fick's Page

How do you Spell relief: S-H-R-I-N-K-A-G-E!

Well we received some fabulous news on Monday at Sloan, Eric's chemo treatments are working!!! The smaller tumors seem to have all but disappeared, and the larger ones have shrunk to almost 1/2 of the original size. Praise be to God!

Dr. Kemeny was very pleased with these results, and decided to consult with Dr. D'Angelica the liver surgeon. As of Monday he wanted Eric to continue with treatments, but Eric received a call Thursday that D'Angelica wants to start testing and prepping him for the next surgery. This is HUGE!!!!

We met with Dr. Karen Brown to discuss the next procedure Eric will receive to prep for part 2 of his liver resection. In the next few weeks Eric will be getting a Portal Vein Embolization. Basically the will be cutting off blood flow to the entire right lobe of the liver. This is where the remaining tumors are located. This will force the left healthy lobe, to regenerate at a faster rate to prepare for surgery. After this is done, we could be looking at liver resection in about 6-8 weeks....around Easter. God truly is blessing us with this news.

Eric is tolerating treatments well, but with every new treatment his symptoms get worse. His minor setback 2 weeks ago, has resulted in Eric having to have limited contact with people. He has to be super vigilant, as his immune system is SHOT! Especially if he might be having surgery in the near future.

Keep those prayers coming! Thank you all so very much!
~J

She never slows down.

She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down
She won't turn around
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down

An old high school friend sent me a message. I had been seeing some of her statuses on facebook and it seemed she had been pretty down lately and had a lot of bullshit thrown her way. I was really surprised when she sent me a message. It had a lot of weight to it, and between the lines I could almost feel the pain she must be going through.
No matter the cause of someones pain or frustration or hurt, bottom line is that it still sucks. If you are hurting you are hurting, and the density of what is causing that hurt really doesn't matter. I hope she is not mad, but I decided to post her message and my response. I am editing it a bit, both for her privacy, and reasons she will understand, but the message is still the same.

What I want everyone to get out of this is that hurting blows! And hopefully people will realize that plenty of people are in pain, its yet another reason to be nice to people, and smile. Because sometimes that smile can really make someone's day.


^^That's me in High School. Senior Portrait....seems like a million years ago! ^^
Figured I would put a high school pic up since Shirley Temple is a high school friend.

The message from Shirley Temple

So i didnt want to post this on your wall in case you didnt want to do it or if it was too personal but I would love to hear about how you are able to not focus on the bad or the people who for whatever reason or another are not the people you thought they were and how you are able to not dwell on it.

You wouldnt be human if it didnt get to you once in a blue moon but it sounds like you do such an amazing job not only not letting those people get to you but how you also protect eric from it and your kids.

I know you have always been a spritual person...does your faith play a role? For some reason lately I have been thinking about god and faith and feeling almost jealous of people who have a strong faith.

Ok now I am just rambling and I really dont mean to unload on you...

ok now I sorta forget the reason for this message...lol


TTYL

My response:

Wow hun. I am guessing from this message you are really going through a rough patch!

This experience has been a crazy one. It has taught me how to love more, not take stuff for granted, fight harder (if you can imagine that lol), and realize what truly matters.

I wish I could say I do not dwell on things, but I do. A lot of times it eats me up inside. Especially when it comes to people who are hurting us.

Bottom line is that I was abandoned by my friends, and some people trying to ruin us. Individuals are crazy upset, convinced I am an evil bitch, and are already picking out Eric's grave. Throughout this I have encountered some of the most negative people I know, who are loving (how fucked up does that sound?) the attention.

To protect them I take the brunt of everything. I keep the horrible things from Eric and the kids and I sacrifice my own wellbeing to do so. Sadly there are many nights I stiffle my crying in a hot shower, or bawl my eyes out in my car when no one is around. But I keep telling myself that I must be the one to handle it, because everyone else is too vulnerable.

It is really really hard. And one of the worst parts is the complete devastation that occurs when you realize people who you cared about are not who you thought they were. It is absolutely horrible. Maybe some of the worst pain and loneliness I have ever felt. But I try not to show it. I try to stay strong for Eric and the kids.

My way of venting is via my blog. Sometimes I rant and ramble and it makes no sense, but other times I am able to put into words just how I feel. It is soothing. I am not really that strong, I just am so in love and scared to death of losing my husband. I will fight with all that I have not to. I have always been a good fighter. And I have realized that the best in my comes out when things are at their worst and people need me.

Faith is helping me through this as well. Putting my faith in something higher and realizing that there is a purpose for all this. Whether it be to humble us, or make our faith stronger, it is there. I keep telling myself a few simple things:
1.) Whether I am able to have 2 years or 60 years married to my soulmate, I am grateful for it. No one will ever fill my heart or make me whole like he does
2.) Maybe I needed to grow up. Maybe this was God's way of saying I had steered off my path a little and I needed to be grounded
3.) If anything,Eric's cancer has made us aware that his son needs to be tested and monitored. Eric's cancer probably started when he was about 25. Mark is 15. He had his first colonoscopy. He will be spared and not have to go through this.

I guess I am rambling on a little too. I hope I answered your questions, but I fear I may have confused you more. By the way, never think that your problems aren't bad, or any less stressful then people dealing with "serious" issues. If a problem affects your life and makes you sad, then it is just as bad as anything I, or people like me, are dealing with. It doesn't matter the cause, if you are hurting you are hurting.

i leave you with one of my favorite quotes:
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.”- Eleanor Roosevelt

For those out there struggling, this is for you.