For Pete's Sake, Take a Break from Cancer

Through an amazing organization called For Pete's Sake (FPS) our family is being given the opportunity for a respite. This grassroots local non-profit is pretty amazing. I highly suggest you visit the page to learn more. Basically this young woman Marci lost her husband to cancer when he was just 30 years old. After his death she dedicated her life to helping others going thru the same thing. It's truly inspirational. Anyway, I had called to ask a few follow up questions and ended up talking to this girl Amber. This was all before we found out Eric's cancer was back. I was so giddy and happy that Amber asked me to write about my experiences. We ended up being the feature family for the month of November. I was really touched. I started to write Amber then got sidetracked. I finally finished that letter today and wanted to share it. I am very touched by this organization, and hope that you support them in any way. They really make such a difference in the lives of others.

Amber,
When I spoken with you a few weeks ago, after chewing your ear off forever, you had asked me to write down my experiences and email them to you. I sat down to begin writing this, and then got sidetracked with the million things going on with life. But I knew I would get back to it. FPS has blessed us with the opportunity to go on a respite, and the least I could do was share my personal joy with this experience, and how touched I was by the kindness of others. I was feeling such happiness and joy as I talked to you. And I couldn't wait to share my experiences. And then my world was altered, and I was left in a state of disillusion.

On Monday November 7th we were told my husband's cancer was back. After all the surgeries, and treatment, and almost losing him to infection over the summer, he was feeling great and technically 6 months "cancer free". After telling us those horrible words, the next thing they said, was "You will still be able to go on your respite. We will schedule treatments around it." And with a few words, this respite became so much more then just a break after months and months of fighting, it became a break in his next battle we now face. And you cannot even imagine how much more this opportunity means to us then before (Not that it wasn't already AMAZING). In some ways I am still in a state of shock. I knew there was a chance this could come back, I kept watching the lab reports and the CEA levels slowly rising, but I just hoped and prayed he wouldn't have to go through this again. But here we are, ready to fight. A little battered, somewhat broken, very tired, but not yet ready to give up.

I had mentioned to you on the phone that a little while after we had started the nomination process, I actually read Marci's story. I can't really tell you why I hadn't before, but I just hadn't. I researched and read every other page of the site, but her story was the one thing I just couldn't yet read. Eventually I got a box of tissues ready, went in my classroom all alone, and read it. I am glad I was alone and had the tissues ready. I felt like I was reading my own story. I was newly married to the love of my life. I was just turning 30 years old. I was trying to move upward in my career in the field of education. I had become a cancer spouse. And Cancer has invaded and threatened all that I loved so much, and worked so hard for. My husband, my big strong 35 year old Philly cop, was fighting the toughest criminal he ever had encountered. A horrible thing that wanted to kill him, colon cancer. Colon cancer that had been traveling and growing inside his body for years, with no indication it was there. Colon cancer that was Stage 4 when they finally found it. I just recently found out that when I wasn't in the room with him a doc had told him he had about 8 months to live. Who were they to put a time stamp on life? I didn't realize my husband had an expiration date.

But he fought so hard. From Oct 2010, they day of diagnosis to this next round in the ring. But all the time, Eric has just wanted to be "normal" he is sick of being the guy with cancer. He is tired of us being the cancer family. We just want to finally have happy memories. And that is what you are giving us the chance to make. you are enabling us to take a break from cancer, and be a family. Your enabling us to have an opportunity for our sons to have memories that don't involve hospital rooms and oxygen, and sickness that chemo causes. you are helping us to live.

Thank you so much for all that you do. Thank you for making this hell just a little bit easier. Thank you for helping me, feel like a mother and wife, and not a caregiver. And thank you to Marci, for taking the worst experience of her life, and turning it into such a beautiful thing for others. Through her strength and dedication, Pete lives on.


Sincerely yours,

Jeaneane